I'm Beans. Canned, coffeed, kidneyed—I repp each and every one except lupini beans. But who am I actually? I'm working my ass off. Except for when I'm taking care of my succulent infested apartment, surfing Space TV, or living baseball. Go The Chickens!

This blog is PROOF of my peerless battles against the shitty ass aliens that invaded us on June 8th, 20X6.2. This is content for the history tomes of tomorrow, straight from the back alleys of beautiful [???] City.